Hey guys- so Ive been slacking on writing on here lately and I apologize! I have been working on a few things though and Ive seen nothing but good results. Ive really been trying to focus on working on my attitude and my outlook on things daily, such as waking up and instead of dreading the day I decide to be thankful for what I have and be happy that Im able to be here that day and its changed how I interact with others and how my mood is over the day. Ive also been trying to really watch my attitudes and make sure that I dont have any unnecessary ones. I believe I had more "attitude" when I was waking up upset or angry right off the get go and now that Im trying to be more thankful and accepting of a new day I can see that my overall mood is MUCH better. My hubs and I have been getting along great since we went to St.George for our mini anniversary get away last weekend and things have been awesome! I love it! I do have to say that most of the reason for us getting along so great is due to the fact that Im actually putting some effort into hearing what he says and trying to actually listen rather than take offense to absolutltely everything that he has to offer to me.
I think a lot of people tend to go into "victim mode" and tend to think that others are out to get them, when really most of the time those people who are out to get you are really just trying to help make your life a lil easier by giving you helpful tips. This is something that I am just now learning and it is a very valuable trait to learn. Ive always been the type of person to take EVERYTHING personnel and then become very defensive and upsest and I hated that about myself. For the last couple of weeks Ive been rally trying to not do that and it has made a few of my relationships much better and I feel much better and not so hostile. So my advice to all of you out there that tend to take things personnel- STOP IT! It only makes for an upset you! Try and take things and really listen to what the other person is saying and see how you can apply what theyve said to youre life. It might really help you!
Thanks all! Have a great weekend!
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
#7- Being an advocate for those who cant speak up for themselves
So my new "trait" to work on is to become an advocate for those who cannot speak up for themselves. I have always been interested in bringing awareness to others about sex trafficking, so Ive decided to be more active and to start educating who ever wants to listen about the epidemic of sex trafficking happening right now. Anyone of you who wish to help please let me know and there are a few very simple things you can do to help.
First off I want to share some knowledge about sex trafficking. Sex trafficking is a form of modern-day slavery where people profit from the control and exploitation of others- people are coerced and deceived into commercial sex acts. Sex trafficking is considered to be one of the fastest growing criminal industries in the world. 100,000 children are estimated to be in the sex trade in the United States each year and the total number of human trafficking victims in the US reaches into the hundreds of thousands. The demand for sex trafficking exists because of a couple of reasons:
1. Low Risk: the community is unaware of the issue, government institutions are not trained to respond, there are not laws to address the crime, there are no safety nets for the victims- therefore the traffikers are not effected.
2. High Profits: individuals are willing to buy commercial sex at whatever cost
Until demand is no longer there then the market for trafficked victims will continue. Most sex buyers are unaware of how these young woman/children are treated therefore they feel that the women are willing to engage in the sexual acts. In reality these victims are subjected to violence, threats, controlling behaviors, false promises, lies, and manipulation perpetrated by the traffickers/pimps. The only way to stop this from getting bigger and bigger is to educate more people and to have new laws and stricter punishments put in place.
The people who do this (The Traffickers) will lure individuals into trafficking thru control, force and coercion. Many traffickers can be or have been: Pimps/ Intimate partners/ Gang and Criminal networks/ Brother and fake massage parlor workers
Traffickers lure victims into exploitative situations by preying on their hopes to improve their lives and the lives of their families. They often promise a better life, then once the victims is where they were sent to the traffickers usually uses violence to force them into performing sexual acts.
Victims come in EVERY type of age group, socio-economic groups, nationality, and age. Human trafficking victims have been identified in cities, suburbs, and rural areas in all 50 states. Some victims are forced to work in legal and legitimate buisnesses or behind locked doors in brothels ad factories. Many victims appear to be "willing" and appear to be a prositute- when in reality they are being forced. Most victims are undocumented immigrants, runaway and homless youth, victims of trauma/abuse, and refugees.
Facilitators are also included in this "ring". In order for the sex acts to be able to occur and be advertised there must be people willing to allow it to happen in their facilities. Often the traffickers will pay these people running the places a certain amount of money each week/month making it worth it to them. Some common places are: hotels/motels, apartments, taxis and other driving services, airlines, buses, rail companies, online websites/phone books/news papers - to advertise, and banks/financial service companies.
The internet as been named the number 1 platform that pimps/traffickers are using to currently sell women and children. Traffickers use a different language that allows them to not be detected. They will often say younger girls ( such as 15 and below) are 19 or 20, or simply label them as "young" so it looks like theyre older or willing. They will also post a photo of an adult, when really the victim is a young girl. The traffickers can post anywhere they please which allows for them to sell to many more people. In the US Craigslist there were 10-16,000 adult service posting/day. The FBI found in 2008 that 2800 ads of prostituted children were posted on Craigslist. These are ALARMING numbers!!!!
A single victim may be required to sleep with as many as 15 different men per day. They usually have a standard quota to be met of anywhere from $500- $1000 per night to be made and then the money must be handed over to their trafficker.
Pimps frequently move their victims from city to city and often force their victims to engage in sexual behavior along the way at truck stops. Pimps will advertise their victims over CB radios using code. Truckers can also search online trucker boards for info on where to purchase prositution. Truckers will indicate that they are wanting sex by using their headlights or put stickers on their windows. Victims working at truck stops usually make anywhere from $5- $100 per act. So poor little children are being forced to engage in sexual acts for as little as FIVE DOLLARS!!!!
This is just a small amount of information but I wanted to briefly educate you on what I am hoping to start making people more aware of and stop this from happening so often. If your interested in helping I have some fliers that you could post at truck stops in your area or at any local buisnesses that will allow it. Also, dedicate your facebook page for a week or something like that to making this issue aware to others. You can simply put a tidbit of info from this post- or put this website: www.polarisproject.org, which has all of this info that Ive shared with you plus so much more. Thanks for taking the time to listen guys. Lets all help make a difference.
First off I want to share some knowledge about sex trafficking. Sex trafficking is a form of modern-day slavery where people profit from the control and exploitation of others- people are coerced and deceived into commercial sex acts. Sex trafficking is considered to be one of the fastest growing criminal industries in the world. 100,000 children are estimated to be in the sex trade in the United States each year and the total number of human trafficking victims in the US reaches into the hundreds of thousands. The demand for sex trafficking exists because of a couple of reasons:
1. Low Risk: the community is unaware of the issue, government institutions are not trained to respond, there are not laws to address the crime, there are no safety nets for the victims- therefore the traffikers are not effected.
2. High Profits: individuals are willing to buy commercial sex at whatever cost
Until demand is no longer there then the market for trafficked victims will continue. Most sex buyers are unaware of how these young woman/children are treated therefore they feel that the women are willing to engage in the sexual acts. In reality these victims are subjected to violence, threats, controlling behaviors, false promises, lies, and manipulation perpetrated by the traffickers/pimps. The only way to stop this from getting bigger and bigger is to educate more people and to have new laws and stricter punishments put in place.
The people who do this (The Traffickers) will lure individuals into trafficking thru control, force and coercion. Many traffickers can be or have been: Pimps/ Intimate partners/ Gang and Criminal networks/ Brother and fake massage parlor workers
Traffickers lure victims into exploitative situations by preying on their hopes to improve their lives and the lives of their families. They often promise a better life, then once the victims is where they were sent to the traffickers usually uses violence to force them into performing sexual acts.
Victims come in EVERY type of age group, socio-economic groups, nationality, and age. Human trafficking victims have been identified in cities, suburbs, and rural areas in all 50 states. Some victims are forced to work in legal and legitimate buisnesses or behind locked doors in brothels ad factories. Many victims appear to be "willing" and appear to be a prositute- when in reality they are being forced. Most victims are undocumented immigrants, runaway and homless youth, victims of trauma/abuse, and refugees.
Facilitators are also included in this "ring". In order for the sex acts to be able to occur and be advertised there must be people willing to allow it to happen in their facilities. Often the traffickers will pay these people running the places a certain amount of money each week/month making it worth it to them. Some common places are: hotels/motels, apartments, taxis and other driving services, airlines, buses, rail companies, online websites/phone books/news papers - to advertise, and banks/financial service companies.
The internet as been named the number 1 platform that pimps/traffickers are using to currently sell women and children. Traffickers use a different language that allows them to not be detected. They will often say younger girls ( such as 15 and below) are 19 or 20, or simply label them as "young" so it looks like theyre older or willing. They will also post a photo of an adult, when really the victim is a young girl. The traffickers can post anywhere they please which allows for them to sell to many more people. In the US Craigslist there were 10-16,000 adult service posting/day. The FBI found in 2008 that 2800 ads of prostituted children were posted on Craigslist. These are ALARMING numbers!!!!
A single victim may be required to sleep with as many as 15 different men per day. They usually have a standard quota to be met of anywhere from $500- $1000 per night to be made and then the money must be handed over to their trafficker.
Pimps frequently move their victims from city to city and often force their victims to engage in sexual behavior along the way at truck stops. Pimps will advertise their victims over CB radios using code. Truckers can also search online trucker boards for info on where to purchase prositution. Truckers will indicate that they are wanting sex by using their headlights or put stickers on their windows. Victims working at truck stops usually make anywhere from $5- $100 per act. So poor little children are being forced to engage in sexual acts for as little as FIVE DOLLARS!!!!
This is just a small amount of information but I wanted to briefly educate you on what I am hoping to start making people more aware of and stop this from happening so often. If your interested in helping I have some fliers that you could post at truck stops in your area or at any local buisnesses that will allow it. Also, dedicate your facebook page for a week or something like that to making this issue aware to others. You can simply put a tidbit of info from this post- or put this website: www.polarisproject.org, which has all of this info that Ive shared with you plus so much more. Thanks for taking the time to listen guys. Lets all help make a difference.
#12- A person who stands up for what they believe in
This concept is a new one for me- Ive always been self concious of what others think of me and worry about how they might view me. Well quite frankly Im sick of doing that- I want to be able to believe in what I want and I dont want to be afraid to show it. So I wont hide it anymore- Ive decided to start doing lessons for the LDS church and Ive completed about 3 lessons. If you arent LDS that means that missionaries come over and they simply teach you about the religion and the basics of their beliefs. I use to think that missionaries would be extremely overbearing and push me into being apart of their church and thats not at all what has happened. They have been so inviting and very non judgemental. They of course would love if I joined but I dont feel any pressure from them. They basically say if it makes sense to you then become a member, if it doesnt then its not for you right now.
Ive always been kind of stand offish against religion. I dont really know why I just never really truly believed what Ive been taught at other churches Ive attended. Ive always believed in God and Jesus Ive just never really liked how things were done at other churchs Ive attended. I love at the LDS church that family is the main focus. Theyre very much about spending time with loved ones as much as possible and they are the most forgiving, accepting group of people Ive met so far. I love that every week there are multiple NEW things taught to us. There are 3 different "meetings" each Sunday- First one is Relief Society for the woman and in that class they teach about family, community and other daily challenges that we may experience as moms, daughters, wives, and grandmothers. The second class is Sunday School- there is where we are taught about the Bible and the Book of Mormom and different events in Jesus's time, as well as, the after life. The last class is Sacrament Meeting- where the entire family is together and testimonies are given from other members about how the church has impacted their lives. It seems really long, but I find it to be very interactive ad informative.
I have always wanted my kids to be apart of sunday school when they were older and have "church" friends or friends with good morals/values. After being in my high school and seeing my brother in high school as well as other friends, it scares me how little morals/values kids have now days. I know I sound like a mom but its scary how TV, media is now. I just want her to have the best chance at this life thing as possible- same with me and my husband so why not be apart of something that wants to help you be a better person.
Im still making the decision on whether Im ready to be baptized or not, but Im very much leaning towards yes. Im really excited to be apart of something that allows me to be involved with the community more and to meet new people. So there ya go- not afraid and dont want to "hide" any of my beliefs! :) Happy to be able to share.
Next Post is going to be some info on sex trafficking- it is not apart of my "list" but I did say that I wanted to start being an advocate to people that cant be for themselves and that is what this relates to. I want to become more involved in helping others that cant speak up for themselves and I plan on doing that by making as many people that I can aware of this epidemic happening in our world right now. Stay tuned! Thanks for reading!
Ive always been kind of stand offish against religion. I dont really know why I just never really truly believed what Ive been taught at other churches Ive attended. Ive always believed in God and Jesus Ive just never really liked how things were done at other churchs Ive attended. I love at the LDS church that family is the main focus. Theyre very much about spending time with loved ones as much as possible and they are the most forgiving, accepting group of people Ive met so far. I love that every week there are multiple NEW things taught to us. There are 3 different "meetings" each Sunday- First one is Relief Society for the woman and in that class they teach about family, community and other daily challenges that we may experience as moms, daughters, wives, and grandmothers. The second class is Sunday School- there is where we are taught about the Bible and the Book of Mormom and different events in Jesus's time, as well as, the after life. The last class is Sacrament Meeting- where the entire family is together and testimonies are given from other members about how the church has impacted their lives. It seems really long, but I find it to be very interactive ad informative.
I have always wanted my kids to be apart of sunday school when they were older and have "church" friends or friends with good morals/values. After being in my high school and seeing my brother in high school as well as other friends, it scares me how little morals/values kids have now days. I know I sound like a mom but its scary how TV, media is now. I just want her to have the best chance at this life thing as possible- same with me and my husband so why not be apart of something that wants to help you be a better person.
Im still making the decision on whether Im ready to be baptized or not, but Im very much leaning towards yes. Im really excited to be apart of something that allows me to be involved with the community more and to meet new people. So there ya go- not afraid and dont want to "hide" any of my beliefs! :) Happy to be able to share.
Next Post is going to be some info on sex trafficking- it is not apart of my "list" but I did say that I wanted to start being an advocate to people that cant be for themselves and that is what this relates to. I want to become more involved in helping others that cant speak up for themselves and I plan on doing that by making as many people that I can aware of this epidemic happening in our world right now. Stay tuned! Thanks for reading!
Results from my "Not filling my mind with nonsense" task
So this was much harder than I anticipated. I kept going onto my XFINITY app and wanting to watch all these DUMB, NONSENSE shows, but I did stop myself. I have not indulged in any Kardashians, Real Housewives, or any other knock off shows related to those two shows. I do feel better about myself in that I CAN control what I watch- which any one SHOULD be able to do but the real question is do you? Think about how much time is wasted watching TV. I dont think TV is a bad thing, but I do think that with all the time most of us spend watchin tv we all could probably have master degrees by now. So now that Ive done this for about a week and did just fine I think that Im now going to take it to another level and say that I will NOT watch The Kardashians/ RHWO/ or really any shows on Bravo. I want to start learning new things whether through the Nat Geo Channel or through living and experiencing new learning enviorments. So over all Id say this task went pretty well.
On to my soda drinking task- yaaaaa way to much at once lol. I havent been doing so well on this one- Ive actually been doing AWFUL lately with eating well and paying attention to what and why Im eating so Ive decided to start a food journal today and then at least I cant be in denial of what Im eating and Im going to really start trying to watch my intake of water and healthier foods. Ill let ya know how it goes!!!
My next post Im going to work on is #12- A person who is proud of their beliefs and stands up for what they believe in.
On to my soda drinking task- yaaaaa way to much at once lol. I havent been doing so well on this one- Ive actually been doing AWFUL lately with eating well and paying attention to what and why Im eating so Ive decided to start a food journal today and then at least I cant be in denial of what Im eating and Im going to really start trying to watch my intake of water and healthier foods. Ill let ya know how it goes!!!
My next post Im going to work on is #12- A person who is proud of their beliefs and stands up for what they believe in.
Friday, February 21, 2014
Sorry! Ive been slacking! New trait to work on: Not filling my mind with nonsense shows/magazines/drama
Sorry guys! Ive been slacking on writing/participating in my "Project Me" Its weird how bad I feel for not actively working on all of these traits/values. Ive found that I really like/love having something to work on each day. It keeps me focusing on something positive and helps me to be more aware of myself and how Im acting and where Im act emotionally.
So...my new "thing" that Im wanting to work on is to not fill my mind with nonsense crap- such as Keeping up With the Kardashians, or Vanderpump Rules, or the Real Housewives of whereever, or any of those daily gossip magazines. Its absolutely mind blowing to me how much Ive tried to procrasitinate this step. It saddens me that Ive let myself want to watch those type of shows and to find any sort of entertainment value in those women. I hate what they stand for but yet Im drawn to wanting to know what they're doing and why. I found myself telling my husband to turn off something like National Geographic or the news to watch something like The Bachelor. Its almost embarrasing- a lie IT IS embarrassing to be saying this out loud but its the truth and if Im going to work on it then I have to be honest about it. So my goal this next week is not watch ANY of that crap and I guarntee this is going to be one of the harder things to change on my list, but I will give it my all. I will let ya know how its going in a few days.
Im also going to throw in another VERY difficult one that Im struggling with and need some pushing/encouragement/reminders to get through and that is NOT drinking so much soda/juice and drinking water instead. I am so AWFUL at this its unbelieveable. I tend to want a coke in the am and before bed and every other drink in between is a glass of juice or another soda that I usually end up wasting half of anyways. So Im going to be realisitic and not say that Im going to stop completely but this week Im going to vow to only have 1 soda a day and 1 glass of juice a day, which is quite the cut back for me. I am going to promise to drink at least 6 8oz glasses of water a day in exchange for the soda/juice. I am wanting to become healthy and one of the next few traits Im going to work on is becoming a healthy, fitness orientated person but I need to start with this soda drinking thing first. So starting on 2/22/14 I will stop filling my head with nonsense drama and stop filling my veins with soda/juice! Ill let ya know how it goes! Thanks for reading guys!
So...my new "thing" that Im wanting to work on is to not fill my mind with nonsense crap- such as Keeping up With the Kardashians, or Vanderpump Rules, or the Real Housewives of whereever, or any of those daily gossip magazines. Its absolutely mind blowing to me how much Ive tried to procrasitinate this step. It saddens me that Ive let myself want to watch those type of shows and to find any sort of entertainment value in those women. I hate what they stand for but yet Im drawn to wanting to know what they're doing and why. I found myself telling my husband to turn off something like National Geographic or the news to watch something like The Bachelor. Its almost embarrasing- a lie IT IS embarrassing to be saying this out loud but its the truth and if Im going to work on it then I have to be honest about it. So my goal this next week is not watch ANY of that crap and I guarntee this is going to be one of the harder things to change on my list, but I will give it my all. I will let ya know how its going in a few days.
Im also going to throw in another VERY difficult one that Im struggling with and need some pushing/encouragement/reminders to get through and that is NOT drinking so much soda/juice and drinking water instead. I am so AWFUL at this its unbelieveable. I tend to want a coke in the am and before bed and every other drink in between is a glass of juice or another soda that I usually end up wasting half of anyways. So Im going to be realisitic and not say that Im going to stop completely but this week Im going to vow to only have 1 soda a day and 1 glass of juice a day, which is quite the cut back for me. I am going to promise to drink at least 6 8oz glasses of water a day in exchange for the soda/juice. I am wanting to become healthy and one of the next few traits Im going to work on is becoming a healthy, fitness orientated person but I need to start with this soda drinking thing first. So starting on 2/22/14 I will stop filling my head with nonsense drama and stop filling my veins with soda/juice! Ill let ya know how it goes! Thanks for reading guys!
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Day 3: I'm Bossay!! :)
So I was going to post the lyrics to the song, "I'm Bossy" if you all remember that song but the lyrics are about ridiculous talking about grillz on ma teeth and diamonds on ma neck Im the boss! lol so I thought Id better not- so hopefully you get the jist, which is I'm bossy.
This is a trait Ive noticed myself doing over the last few days and Im sure others have noticed it for much longer but I was listening to myself the other day and realized that I tend to bark orders at others instead of asking nicely or even asking at all- I tend to do this with my hubby the most and thinking about it I feel really bad that I do this. I guess I didnt realize how much I have to control things, which is just not a good trait to possess. So this was not on my original list of things I wanted to work on, but now that I am aware of this I really would like to change this. So for the next couple of days I am going to really focus on not bossing people around and letting things happen the way they happen. The things I struggle with the most in this area are: when I want to do something, I want to go right then and there- theres no time to waste- and thats when I tend to start bossing around. I also struggle with having to have things the way that I think is best- and sometimes I just dont need to have all control of things, who knows maybe if I let my husband make more of the decisions we might do better.
So this week Im going to make sure to be more calm and relaxed and just let things happen! Ill let ya know how it goes :) Thanks for reading!!!!
This is a trait Ive noticed myself doing over the last few days and Im sure others have noticed it for much longer but I was listening to myself the other day and realized that I tend to bark orders at others instead of asking nicely or even asking at all- I tend to do this with my hubby the most and thinking about it I feel really bad that I do this. I guess I didnt realize how much I have to control things, which is just not a good trait to possess. So this was not on my original list of things I wanted to work on, but now that I am aware of this I really would like to change this. So for the next couple of days I am going to really focus on not bossing people around and letting things happen the way they happen. The things I struggle with the most in this area are: when I want to do something, I want to go right then and there- theres no time to waste- and thats when I tend to start bossing around. I also struggle with having to have things the way that I think is best- and sometimes I just dont need to have all control of things, who knows maybe if I let my husband make more of the decisions we might do better.
So this week Im going to make sure to be more calm and relaxed and just let things happen! Ill let ya know how it goes :) Thanks for reading!!!!
Saturday, February 8, 2014
Day 2: Results
So....my last post was about working on my body language and my unnecessary attitudes and to simply stop and take a few moments before reacting. Well, I really tried with this one and Ive been working on it for a few days now because I felt that it deserved more than a day. Ive struggled each day at different times to stop and think and Ive noticed myself many times falling back into old habits. Im so use to reacting on emotions the second that I feel those emotions.
Theres been quite a few times that Ive felt irritated and wanted to get upset and/or hold everything inside and respond with bad body language but instead I took a few seconds and thought about how my reacting in those ways would be productive to our relationship, and my answer was that it wouldnt be productive one bit. So, I changed the way I reacted and I answered in a nice tone. The results were much different. I was answered in a nice tone as well and the rest of the interaction was not hostile. We were able to move on and within a few mintues I also realized that what I was upset about didnt matter one bit in the big picture. I hope to be able to continue to do this bc it makes such a difference. I just still constantly want to revert back to using body language and attitudes, it just seems like the right thing to do at the time, and I feel a sense of justification BUT it is NOT the right way to respond- as humans we are so use to getting things Right when we want them. We dont want to work for them. Ive noticed a different set of feelings when I go about doing things the "right" way- even though it was hard for me to stop and think about what Im doing and why, when I do the rewards are amazing. I get a sense of pride for actively working on the issue, and I get much better results with the person Im taking my time with.
The thing that made me just smile from ear to ear, even though I didnt really show my elation was when my husband stopped and said that he really appreciated me trying to watch my tones. So Im going to continue to work on this one daily bc I believe this is the issue that causes the most contention between me and him. Thanks for listening! My next blog post will be on not being so bossy- its not in my list on the first blog of things for me to work on, but I noticed yesterday and the day before that Im extremely bossy to a few different people in my life and if I was being treated like that I would be very hurt and upset. So until next time- have a wonderful day!!!
Theres been quite a few times that Ive felt irritated and wanted to get upset and/or hold everything inside and respond with bad body language but instead I took a few seconds and thought about how my reacting in those ways would be productive to our relationship, and my answer was that it wouldnt be productive one bit. So, I changed the way I reacted and I answered in a nice tone. The results were much different. I was answered in a nice tone as well and the rest of the interaction was not hostile. We were able to move on and within a few mintues I also realized that what I was upset about didnt matter one bit in the big picture. I hope to be able to continue to do this bc it makes such a difference. I just still constantly want to revert back to using body language and attitudes, it just seems like the right thing to do at the time, and I feel a sense of justification BUT it is NOT the right way to respond- as humans we are so use to getting things Right when we want them. We dont want to work for them. Ive noticed a different set of feelings when I go about doing things the "right" way- even though it was hard for me to stop and think about what Im doing and why, when I do the rewards are amazing. I get a sense of pride for actively working on the issue, and I get much better results with the person Im taking my time with.
The thing that made me just smile from ear to ear, even though I didnt really show my elation was when my husband stopped and said that he really appreciated me trying to watch my tones. So Im going to continue to work on this one daily bc I believe this is the issue that causes the most contention between me and him. Thanks for listening! My next blog post will be on not being so bossy- its not in my list on the first blog of things for me to work on, but I noticed yesterday and the day before that Im extremely bossy to a few different people in my life and if I was being treated like that I would be very hurt and upset. So until next time- have a wonderful day!!!
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